Safe Because Of You
by shinyunicorn
Summary: Aria finds out that Ezra is working for A. Will she ever find the strength to forgive him? Or is this the final end of their relationship? Set after 4x12.
1. Chapter One

**Warning: this is my first attempt to write a fanfic.**

**I just had all these thoughts in my mind after the summer finale and I needed to write them down. There are lots of good stories out there about EzrA; I hope you will like my version. I've already completed a few chapters so I've kind of made up my mind about Ezra and his role in this mess, but I used my imagination a lot here and I'm not trying to guess what really is gonna happen.**

**Big thanks to my beta Marcia794 for supporting me on this, reading my story and correcting my mistakes. Girl, I love you more than Oreos.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars, I'm just a heartbroken fan.**

**Chapter One - Change Of Plans**

_**Aria's POV**_

**'But just because you bury something, that doesn't mean it stops existing.' - Jenny Han, We'll Always Have Summer**

It was after midnight when we finally arrived at Spencer's house, totally exhausted. After we reached Ravenswood we attended a magic show, confronted two -not one- Redcoats, saved Emily from a near-death experience, discovered A's lair and crashed a party dedicated to Ali. To say the day had been full of surprises would be an understatement. Not that we had any quiet days in the past year or so. You know, what with being blackmailed by a psychotic killer and all.

But this day was different from others as we got the biggest revelation yet: Ali is alive. It was something that never left my mind to be honest. Yeah, we went to her funeral but we never saw her dead body, did we? I know it's too creepy but I always believed she never really left us. When a scary fortune-teller or whatever she is told us the same thing I kind of felt relieved. At least I wasn't being paranoid - yet.

Still, it was shocking, realising that your ex-bff, who was supposed to have been murdered the night she went missing, survived after all with help from said scary woman. Too bad she lost track of Ali the same night she found her and pulled her out of the ground. Could have saved us a lot of trouble.

The four of us were sitting around the big table in the Hastings' kitchen like we always used to when things were really out of control. This time nobody was talking. Spencer didn't give us one of her scientific lectures. Emily didn't have any brilliant ideas about what our next step would be. Hanna didn't have any smartass comments about our night's events. And my mind was totally blank.

Something was off tonight but I couldn't figure it out. Something really wrong had happened but I didn't know exactly what. It wasn't the shiny blue eyes which confirmed that our lost friend was trying to hide from Big A. It wasn't the fact that after a mini karate fight with Cece Drake -Jake's training lessons really helped me with that- she fell off a balcony and then disappeared in a second; although she should have been dead. Not even the humiliation of my being the only one desirable for the main act of a magic trick that was set up by A and carried by a weird clown.

"Why are you all suddenly so speechless?" asked Hanna in her teasing, always loving tone.

"Do you want to give us a recap of that astonishing night?" Spence being sarcastic scared the hell out of me.

"Hey, Spence. No need to cut each other's throats." Emily gave her a warning look. "We're all as shocked as you are. Or less, given that you had figured it all out about Mrs Grunwald's involvement." Oh, yeah. That was scary woman's name. I didn't give it much attention.

"I'm sorry, Han," sighed Spence, "I shouldn't have snapped at you. This was a tough evening, for all of us."

"It's okay." Hanna gave her a small smile. Sometimes I feel like Hanna looks up to Spencer more than she does to anybody else. She is indeed a moving encyclopedia. "I'm still freaked out while thinking about Em in that box.. And the saw." A visible shiver ran through her body.

"I can't even think about it." Em said with an alarmed voice. "For a moment I felt like everything I had seen in creepy horror movies would happen in front of my eyes; on me."

"Okay, stop," added Hanna with a terrified face.

"You know guys, it might be weird but I felt like we were being watched the entire evening. Like someone was following us." Spence was deep in thought.

"You know Spence, for your information, you've been being watched and followed for the last year and more." There was venom in my words and tone but I couldn't help it. Something was really wrong with me tonight.

''Whoa, Ar, I know that. It just felt weird. A is always more than careful. We usually don't feel his presence."

Using a 'he' while referring to A was something new. Mrs Grunwald mentioned that A was male after all. He was the reason Ali went missing in the first place and the reason she's been hiding since then. His obsession with her has been unhealthy, to say the least. Everytime we walk into A's lair we get a view of a mentally sick person's mind. The amount of information he has gathered about us is huge, he basically knows everything about our lives. Alarm systems, mobile phones, even police records are being watched by him. Seems like A has no limits.

Wandering around the creepy room earlier, I saw something that made me stop dead on my tracks though. There was a photo of me and Ezra kissing. It's been weeks since our break up but my reaction to seeing his beautiful face never changed. My favourite English teacher has never left my mind and last night at the brew gave me hope, I won't lie on this. It almost felt like we were still together; talking about our common interests in literature and music, seeing his adoring smile at my silly comments on our favourite poems, watching his blue eyes that made me fall in love with him moments before I leaned in and kissed him..

''Yeah, even Hanna noticed that we were being followed when we entered the magic show."

"Shut up, Em." Hanna rolled her eyes and Emily chuckled. She loved messing with our blonde beauty.

"I don't know. Maybe you are right. I was distracted while being the main act of a magic show."

"But it was fun, wasn't it? And the clown! He wouldn't leave without you." Hanna really enjoyed this and it pissed me off even more.

"So Aria became the center of attention while I was being dragged to be cut in two?"

"Believe me, I didn't enjoy it." I said in despair.

"But why, that clown was cute!" Said Spencer laughing. And I wished she had never done that.

Because when she said those words I realised that the problem with the clown wasn't his addiction to me about that stupid act. When I pictured him in my head once again he wasn't in a black clown-suit and his face wasn't covered with white colours. He was dressed in one of his favourite shirts and was looking at me with his perfect blue eyes. He was the love of my life, my Ezra.

**Sooo Aria realised that Ezra was in Ravenswood working for A. How will she react? Will she confront him and demand to know what's going on?**

**Please review and give me your thoughts!**

**Love, A**


	2. Chapter Two

**Big thanks to my beta Marcia794 for always being there for me. Thanks to anyone who read, please review me, too :)**

**(and guys, don't be sad about the lucian ustream, they're just messing with us; everything is gonna be fine)**

**Chapter 2 - Reality Hits**

_**Aria's POV**_

**''Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.'' - Albert Einstein**

My mind went blanker than before. That's why everything seemed weird to me. Because this whole evening I felt like Ezra was with me, near me, although he was supposed to be in Rosewood. That's what he had told me the previous night at the brew. He would stay in his apartement, he would spend his evening working on a few homework assignments we had handed over to him for the weekend. Seems that it was a lie; this and a thousand more.

Sure, there would be a logical explanation. Ezra couldn't have been in Ravenswood, he couldn't be that clown. He couldn't know about A from the inside. He couldn't be working with them. My handsome teacher couldn't have hurt me this way.

"Earth to Aria!" Hanna's voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Are you okay honey?" asked Em in a concerned tone. They must have tried to get my attention for a few times now.

"I.. Uh.. Need to go." I muttered. How could I possibly talk to them about my epiphany? I had to handle things myself. "I feel emotionally and physically exhausted." Which wasn't a lie.

"Aria." This was Spencer's authoritative tone. Oh, crap. "What's wrong?" I couldn't even look her in the eyes. Spencer could read me like an open book. It was so weird how she hadn't figured out what was going on with me and Ezra long ago, she was the one I was the most afraid of finding out my secret.

"Nothing, Spence," I put on my poker face and managed to look at her, "I really need to go." There was no way I was telling them that the clown at the magic show was our English teacher and hot boyfriend of mine. Ex-boyfriend, Aria! I mentally slapped myself.

"Do you want us to drive you home? You seem pale." Always the caring Em.

"No, I'm okay. I want to get some fresh air anyway." From the corner of my eye I saw Hanna looking at me in a weird way, she knew something bad was going on. However, she just said "Okay, just take care."

"And send us a text when you get home, will you?"

"Okay, Spence." Without looking at them again, I stood up and practically ran for the door. The girls said a concerned 'goodnight' but I couldn't answer; the tears were already streaming down my face.

I arrived at home in zero time and threw my stuff on the floor. The only thing I wanted to do was curl up on my bed and cry myself to death. Melodramatic much? Well, I don't know what a normal reaction to finding out that the love of your life has been ruining your and your friends' lives for months is.

I lay on my bed in the heavy dress I had on since the party in Ravenswood; it was dark pink satin with black lace details, it was beautiful. I snuggled in my fluffy pillows and tried to calm my breath. My mind drifted off to happy moments with him. Sure, our relationship has always been full of obstacles and drama, but we had our moments of bliss. I don't know why, but suddenly I started thinking about a single night at his apartment, a few days before Malcolm walked into his life and turned everything upside down.

_I'm laying on Ezra's naked chest and it's my favourite place on earth. My day has been really tough but that's normal for me now; amlost everyday is like that. My life is a mess but here, in apartment 3B I can forget about everything and focus on living my own fairytale with Ezra. But today I was the one who should have taken care of him; he had a big fight with his mother that ruined his mood. That bitch__is a total bitch.__After I told Ezra that she tried to bribe me so as to leave her son alone, he totally lost it. They exchanged some harsh words and now Ezra says that she won't mess with us again. Can't say I believe this is happening anytime soon._

_I was ready to start arguing again about how that hurt me and that she might be right and maybe I should leave his life for good, but he grabbed my face in his hands and silenced me with his lips. Then I couldn't care less about his mother or their money or even his job; the only thing I cared about was him. He carried me to his bed and made love to me until I forgot everything about our problems, because I felt safe with him. There was no A, no fear, nothing._

_Ezra hardly mentioned my troubled life. Apart from him losing his job in Rosewood high, the A-drama hadn't affected him any other way so far and that was something I was glad for. Toby used to work with A for his personal reasons, Caleb had been hurt because of Hanna's involvement and Paige always tried to help Emily on this. Ezra was mostly out of this all and I hoped things would stay that way; althought I feared that A's radar would catch him soon._

_"Are you asleep, Aria?" Would I ever get used to the way he said my name?_

_"No. I was thinking."_

_"About what, love?" His left hand was playing with my hair, a soothing act which added to the feeling of total safety I had when I was with him. I detached my face from his chest so I could look into his eyes and he was looking me in that way that always made me weak at the knees._

_"About you. I'm scared for you, A won't leave you uninvolved for too long." His face changed in an instant, the melting blue in his eyes transferred into ice, a hard expression that showed total hate and disgust._

_"You don't have to worry about me. You can't. A is after you and you have to take care of yourself and just yourself." I was so sure that his answer would be something like this._

_"But I can't just do this, Ezra! Everybody who's in our lives is suffering, because of us. You are very much in my life so I can't help thinking that you are a target for A!"_

_"A has tried to separate us more than once and sometimes it's been with success. There's nothing else that could hurt me more than being without you so you can't say that I haven't had my fair amount of suffering in this!" Moments like this one, when he basically said that he can't live without me, made my heart ache from all the love I feel for him._

_"I know,but even your life is at risk here, can't you see that?"_

_"I couldn't care less about my life. As long as you're safe, as long as I can keep you safe." His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke those words and his expression was one of total pain. Suddenly my body was covered in goose bumps. His eyes glinted in the moonlight and I had never seen Ezra so vulnerable._

_"Baby, is everything okay?" I pecked his cheek and his eyes closed for an instant. When he opened them, the look he gave me screamed affection and love._

_"Do you trust me, Aria?"_

_"What kind of an idiotic question is that?"_

_"Tell me, please." He seemed so scared and unsure, could he even doubt my feelings for him? After everything we had been through?_

_"Of course I do. More than anyone." He took me in his arms and kissed my forehead and at that moment I knew that something bad was going on._

I couldn't stop the sobs that errupted from my chest now. How could I have been so blind all this time? I guess unconditional love does that to you. I never questioned anything when it came to Ezra, I trusted him with my life. I hadn't been totally honest with him from the beginning of our relationship because there were things that he couldn't know, like A's existence or what happened with Jenna. And I couldn't tell him, it was a promise to the girls. The girls I lied to constantly, so as to keep our relationship a secret although it wasn't easy and it hurt me; it was like living a double life. It wasn't easy to pretend that my life was normal and that I didn't spend every minute of every day thinking about him and how my being in his life could destroy his career and reputation. But I kept quiet, for him; until Hanna saw us. And even though my friends were not entirely okay with this they still supported me (yeah, Spencer had some snarky comments now and then but I could deal with her). They supported me and believed in him, too.

So then I trusted him and I talked to him about everything. What we did to Jenna that night, what has been happening since the first day he walked into our classroom and I got that strange text, I even told him about my father's biggest secret. His reaction to all this never occured to me until now. He didn't even bat an eyelash, it was almost normal to him, everything that happened, like he knew it already. But is it possible that he could know? Did he walk into my life on purpose, just to play his twisted game and then leave me? I couldn't bear this thought, that maybe all that I have ever been to him was a means to an end.

But then again, he knew everything about me, every single detail of my life, when I knew basically nothing about him. More than once I had found out that Ezra was hiding things from me and secrets of his life were revealed out of thin air, moslty without his initiative. Like his affiance with Jackie or his past with Maggie (and more importantly her pregnancy, although it turned out that the boy wasn't his son after all). What did all this mean? Obviously that he was really good at keeping secrets, good at lying; no wonder we were so alike. Sure, there were more things about him that I didn't know,but this? No, it couldn't be.. He couldn't be this cruel with me, I knew he loved me..

The more I was thinking about him, the clearer everything became. One thing I have learned the past year was that in life there are no coincidences. I always thought that Ezra was my prince charming, I melted even thinking about how awfully good-looking he was, how smart and kind, how he had everyone wrapped around his finger. As it seemed now, life hadn't been so generous with me and this flawless image of him would soon be destroyed, hell it already was. He was the only one who never helped us solve this pathetic mystery and I was the only one who never got in real danger. What if he was keeping me out of trouble? My heart fluttered,that means he really loves me. _Ugh, no_; my inner voice was screaming._ That means he wants you alive and close to him so he can go on torturing everyone around you until he gets Ali._

Ali. Why on earth would he want Ali? Maybe he knew her, that's why he was at her funeral. Apparently, there were more things than I ever could imagine that I didn't know about him and if I had paid closer attention I would have suspected them. It was in front of my eyes, there, the truth, but I was too stupid to realise it. _'Do you trust me, Aria?' _His words echoed in my head once again. His pained expression, how sure he was when he basically said that he was out of danger. It appears after all that I was the one who needed protection, not him. I needed to save my life from Ezra Fitz, my awesome older boyfriend who happens to be a teacher in my high scool but is also a terrorist in his free time.

**See you next Saturday - or sooner.**

**Love, A**


	3. Chapter Three

**I wanted to say that I'm happy with the new episode and basically Ali! OMG Ali! I always knew she was alive and I missed her. As for Ezra, I know you're all sad and disappointed but can I say that I'm excited because we will actually see him a lot from now on?**  
**Big thanks to my beta Marcia794 for having the patience of a saint. (I couldn't even find my fanfic's URL without her help. Yeah, I'm basically useless without her to that extent.)**  
**Thanks to anyone who reads, bigger thanks to you guys who reviewed, it made me so happy. And guys, never give up on Ezria.**  
**This chapter was inspired by Demi Lovato's songs and basically 'Heart By Heart'. I don't know why, I was just listening to her while writing it.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3 - Our Last Chance**

_**Aria's POV**_

**''The point was to learn what it was we feared more: being misunderstood or being betrayed.'' - Adam Levin, The Instructions**

I couldn't stay in my bed anymore. It had already been three hours since I started crying and my eyes hurt. I had to do something; being here like a helpless lost puppy would get me nowhere. I sat up and headed for my wardrobe. The first thing I saw when I opened it was one of the very few casual outftis I own; my black hoodie. How ironic, I thought. I wondered how many times Ezra had followed me and the girls in a similar one. I changed out of my dress in a hurry and set off to the place that would give me the answers I deserved and would also break my heart into a million pieces.

As I entered the familiar building my heart clenched. This could be the last time I found myself here. In a few minutes my whole world would be destroyed and there would be no coming back. I tried to calm myself by thinking that things could not be the way they seemed to be. Maybe Ezra was being blackmailed like Toby and had no other choice but to work with them; sure Toby never wanted to hurt Spencer. He could be just a puppet, a member of the A-team who did everything without his will. Yeah, that's what happened, A was blackmailing him and made him do things he never wanted to.

Having this in mind, I arrived at his door and banged on it a couple of times. A few moments later the door opened and a sleepy Ezra appeared on the threshold. The look he gave me was one of total surprise; but that only lasted for a second until fear clouded his features.

"Aria?" He asked confused. "What are you doing here?"

I was ready to run into his arms and kiss his beautiful face and tell him that I had missed him so much and that I can't live without him. That was basically the only thing I always wanted to do when I saw him since we broke up. But then, I remembered that the last time I saw his eyes was a few hours ago, while he was acting like an innocent clown entertaining the crowd. Then I did something that I never thought I would do to Ezra.

I walked the few steps that separated us and slapped him across the face. His mouth dropped open as he stayed there staring at me; he was obviously surprised; I was, too.

"What was that for?" He whispered, looking at me with those piercing eyes. His voice was so calm and I suddenly felt that coming here maybe was a bad idea after all.

"How could you do this to me?" I sounded more desperate than I intended to but seeing him standing there all calm after everything he had done made me crazy.

"Do what, Aria?" He suddenly sounded guilty, maybe he had regretted what he's done? Yeah, keep fooling yourself, Aria. The thought of him being our biggest enemy invaded my mind again and I felt dizzy.

"Aria! I've got you, baby!" Before I totally lost my balance, I fell into his arms and started crying again, but this time it was like I'd never stop. The pain in my chest was too much to bear and I kept crying a desperate 'why' as he carried me to his sofa.

He put me down and took me in his arms but this couldn't happen. It was disgusting and it broke my heart even more. I pushed him away and tried to calm myself without looking at him.

"Will you tell me what's going on, please?" He tried to take my hand in his as he always did but once again I wouldn't let him. "Aria, you're scaring me. Is everything okay?"

"Okay? How could anything be okay?" So much for calming myself. People in the next neighbourhood could probably hear me. "You've been trying to ruin my life, you've been lying to me for months and now you dare ask me if everything's okay?"

His mouth amlost hit the floor once again and I felt the urge to slap him, harder than before. "Wh.. What did you say?" This took him by surprise and I really wondered why. Did he think I was so stupid that he could fool me for years?

"Just tell me one thing." My voice was barely audible, I was so afraid of his answer to what I was about to ask. "Did you ever love me?" A tear slipped down my cheek and I nearly wished I could take those words back.

He moved closer to me and took my face between his hands. This time I didn't push him away, I couldn't move. I waited for his words, the words that would prove that the best thing that ever happened in my life was a total lie.

"Aria." He looked into my eyes like he was looking into my soul and my name had never been spoken with such emotion. It sounded different coming from his lips, it sounded special; like the way he made me feel. "If there is anything true in my life, that is my love for you. You can't ever doubt that. You are my everything, you'll always be. And I will keep you safe no matter what."

I so wanted to believe him. Now, here, being with him like this, like we used to be; it was too easy to forget the past few hours and convince myself that he really loved me. That nothing would ever change this thing we had and in a minute we would order Chinese, curl up on the sofa and watch old movies until dawn.

But then I thought of times when something was off with Ezra. When he was meant to be totally broke but his drawer was full of cash. Or when he suddenly appeared on a travelling train after a near-death experience of mine, although he was meant to be in Philadelphia for an interview.

''I don't know how I can ever trust you again.'' I looked him in the eyes and tried to find any sign of regret or remorse. Would it hurt him if he lost me? Would he feel like his breath was taken away from him, like I felt every time we were apart? Probably no, given that he had used me in the worst way possible. I pushed myself away from him and got up, trying once again to calm my breath and think clearly. ''Why have you been lying to me all this time?'' I crossed my arms and I turned to look at him while waiting for his response.

''I haven't been entirely honest with you. But it was something I had to so I wouldn't lose you.'' His gaze was glued to his folded hands that stayed on his lap and he was speaking through gritted teeth. ''I had to sacrifice things so I could keep you.'' He finally looked at me with wet eyes but could I feel sorry for him? No, the answer came in an instant. He had hurt me more than anyone ever had and he wasn't getting my forgiveness.

''I have done everything in my power to save this relationship, I have being lying to my parents, my friends. I tolerated your jealous ex-fiancee, your insane mother, your high school girlfriend with an almost son and so much more. I know I came to you with a package of a troubled life but maybe you already knew my resume!'' I hardly took a breath through all this rant and I was on the verge of tears, very angry tears. I wasn't the only one who had to sacrifice things so as to keep him.

''What do you mean?'' He was shouting now and he sprinted off the couch, a move that made me take a few steps backs. I had to take my precautions because now that the truth was slowly being revealed he could show me his true dangerous self. I was scared I was losing him, every moment that passed by brought me closer to the truth and at any moment he could admit that our love story was a well-built lie.

''Just tell me the truth Ezra! Tell me that you used me and that there is a whole second life of yours I have no idea about! Tell me you betrayed me!'' I was shouting, too, and I was scared of where this situation would take us.

''It's not like that, just let me explain!" He didn't deny it, oh my. So it was true, he had been using me. My vision blurred but I fought back the tears, I wouldn't let him see me breaking.

"I have to go."

"No! Aria, please!" I tried to turn around but he grabbed my arms and his eyes bore into mine.

"Don't leave me again, I just got you back."

"What gave you this impression?" His earnest expression gave place to a surprised look.

"You kissed me, remember? The other night, it was like everything was back to normal." He was being honest now, I knew when he was lying; I instantly felt a pain in my chest. No, I never knew when he was lying, for all I knew he could be lying now, too. I averted my eyes in case he noticed that I had thought the same thing about our night at the brew. I had believed that everything would be back to normal again and that the only obstacle now would be Jake. But no, I had to face the most fucked-up situation now and my hopes washed away.

"This was a mistake that's never gonna happen again."

"And why is that? Because you can't trust me anymore or because this relationship destroyed your life? Well, breaking news: I'm the one destroyed here." I couldn't believe what was happening in front of my eyes. Ezra, my Ezra, was telling me that I destroyed him. This was so cruel, I wanted to break down. He was cold and distant, like he was someone else. The man that believed we were soulmates and we had to fight for our love no matter what. "I've lost everything because of you."

"Oh, so you blame me for your life's mess? Then it's good I walked away from your life a few weeks ago, I guess everything's alright now?" I tried to be cold too, like the fact that we were apart didn't bother me at all.

"Don't perceive things the way you want to." He paused and took a step closer to me. "I don't regret a thing about what I have with you. I don't regret this, Aria." He waved between us. I swear his mood swings were giving me a headache. "I've told you again; this thing we have has never felt wrong and it will never be wrong. But you need to know that I've given **everything** up so as to be with you."

"You can as well take this 'everything' back now because there's no point anymore. There's no point in 'you and me'. We've hurt each other ebough." Saying those words hurt me, a lot. But I had to end it. Firstly, I had to do this for the girls. No matter how much I loved him and even if I ever found the strength to forgive him, I couldn't betray my best friends. He might have kept me safe all this time as he claims, but he's done terrible things to them. Also, the fact that he was my whole life couldn't take back his actions.

"Please, let me explain myself. You need to understand." He seemed desperate. What if there still was a tiny part of him that loved me? I had to fight and bring him back, right? Instead of letting those sparks of hope get the best of me I focused on this new, terrifying Ezra that was an unknown man.

"I don't need any explanations and excuses, Ezra. I need to go." I avoided his eyes because it would break me.

"Aria, don't give up on us."

"I've tried to save us again and again but it's leading us nowhere. Maybe you were right, there is no happy ending for us."

"You've changed everything by walking into my life, you can't take it back now."

"We're not meant to be, Ezra. Maybe I shouldn't come back." The tears were streaming down my face now and he was crying, too. I didn't know what to believe but I guess it didn't matter anymore, I had made my desicion.

"This time I'll fight for you. I'm not letting go." He was so broken, he seemed hurt but I didn't really care at the moment. I had to mend my own heart now. I looked in his eyes one last time, the eyes that made me love him, the eyes I had always thought were telling me the truth. I would miss everything about him and I knew that by leaving now a part of me would stay here, with him. I was never going to be whole again.

He never tried to stop me though, he didn't move. This time I didn't approach him, I didn't kiss his cheek, I didn't walk away so he could grab my arm and kiss me on the lips. This time I kept my distance and with a hoarse voice I whispered those damn words.

"Goodbye, Ezra."

**Thanks for reading and please review and tell me anything you think about the story or whatever you want okay.**  
**Love, A**


	4. Chapter Four

**Big thanks to Marcia794 for the awesome beta job.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars. If I did, Ezrians would be talking just about hearts and flowers and stars and unicorns.**

**Chapter 4 - You Give Me Strength**

_**Aria's POV**_

**"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." - Linda Grayson**

Walking out his apartment hurt me more than I ever thought it would hurt. It wasn't the first time we had 'broken up' but this time it felt real, more real than ever. It was how everything started and ended, our history repeating itself. When, at Ali's funeral we silently decided that we couldn't be apart and then after Emily's swimming event when we (okay, I) realised that we couldn't be together anymore. It was like my past was mocking me for everything I lost and will never get back.

I didn't know what to do with my life anymore, I felt like my whole world was destroyed. I couldn't breathe properly and I was sure that my legs would give up on me soon, so I crashed at the nearest bench on the pavement. The girls. They had told me to text them as soon as I got home but I never did. I had to call them now and tell them to come and pick me up. I looked at my empty hands and realised that I took nothing with me when I left home; no keys, no purse, no phone. Crap. What would I do now? I was alone in the middle of the night and the closest place was Ezra's apartment and I sure as hell wasn't going there for help. My only choice was to walk to Spencer's house, I didn't want to stay at home alone. Dad and Mike were at our lake house for the weekend, spending some time together now that Mom had left.

I started walking to find the girls as soon as possible; I felt like I needed them more than ever. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell them about he hurt them for learning the truth? Maybe I should keep what I found out to myself, I can't put them in danger. But God, I can't go through this alone.

I have no idea how I arrived at Spencer's house in my condition. There was dim light coming out through the vast windows so that meant they were still up. I entered the kitchen through the back door and I almost collided with Spencer who was ready to walk out the very same door.

"Aria! Oh my God, there you are!" She looked at me with relief but that abruptly changed when she noticed what was a totally grim face and bloodshot eyes.

"What's wrong, Ar?" Hanna hurried to my side and pushed Spencer away so she could look at me.

"Calm down, I -"

"What happened?" Em tried to fit in the tiny semi circle around me and I was about to pass out.

"Can you just -"

"You forgot your phone here and you never replied to our calls at your house so we were about to come and find you at -"

"Will you let me talk?" Now they all shut up and looked at me with terrified eyes. Was I terrifying?

"I was at Ezra's."

"You were **where**?" Hanna exclaimed.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off him for too long." Spencer winked at me. Had I been so obvious all this time?

"Can I sit down?" I tried to pass between them and they let me reach the stool near the table. "I broke up with Ezra." I said without looking at them.

"I thought you had already broken up with him,say, many weeks ago?" Hanna sat next to me and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah, I know. I just.. I had one last hope that maybe we could get back together." Reality started sinking in and my eyes filled with tears. I avoided their eyes again and Spence with Emily took their seats in the opposite side of the table.

"What's wrong, Ar?" I looked up to Spencer's eyes and I couldn't take it anymore. The tears started streaming down my face once more.

"I could use a hug right now," I said and Hanna quickly took me in her arms. The only thing you could hear now in the silent house was my loud sobs. The girls took me up to Spencer's bedroom; I lay on the bed but I didn't want them to go. I couldn't really make out what they were saying to me or to each other, I was just replaying the night I had in my mind. I clung to my best friend and never let her go, I think I was on the verge of a panick attack.

"Do you want us to go downstairs?" Hanna was caressing my hair and she was talking to me calmly.I think I was freaking them out. I couldn't talk though, I just shook my head and moved a little on the bed so they could all fit on it. Nobody was talking and they were trying to calm me, until Spence couldn't take it anymore.

"We are here for you and you know you can tell us anything, right?" I gave her a sad smile, because I wasn't sure about that anymore. Was it safe for them to know the truth? Would he be able to hurt my favourite people on earth? Yeah, he probably would. He had done it so many times already.

"Sweetie, why did you go to Ezra's?" Em asked looking in my eyes.

"We, uh.. Sort of kissed the other night at the brew. So I needed to see him." They didn't seem really surprised. Maybe I had been that obvious after all.

"And? What happened tonight?" I opened my mouth so as to tell them what I had just found out but my phone rang with a new text message. "Here." Em had brought it with her from the kitchen table and passed it to me. I took it, always having that terrible feeling of a new A-sign; and it was one like that, a text from the enemy.

**'Aria, please. Don't leave me, you need to understand. Please, give me a chance. I love you, always -E'**

Why couldn't he just sign it as A? Why should he be fooling me more? I threw my phone at the other end of the bed and hugged Hanna again. Three sets of eyes were on me, waiting for me to say something.

"It was Ezra." I paused and dried my eyes with my sleeve. "Why can't he just leave me alone?" Fresh tears came, again and again, and Spencer gave me a hanful of tissues which I dampened soon.

"Did you guys have a fight?" I realised that I had been crying in front of them all this time without them knowing why I was crying. But they had figured out that something serious had happened. "Aria?" Hanna's voice was alarmed now, I had to give them something.

"Yes, we did."

"About what? I mean, Emily told us about Malcolm. We thought.. Your problems were over now." Spencer frowned.

"Nothing is over, Spence. Nothing will ever be the same." I sounded desperate, I didn't want to be like that but I was in pain.

"I will tell you something that I've told him, too. Two people who love each other that much should be together. Why can't you see that?"

"Yeah, she's right. Aria, didn't you see him all these weeks you were apart? The man was a mess." Em was right, he had been a mess. But not because of us being apart. Probably he was destroyed because of Malcolm and it was normal, even I had loved the little boy.

"He has done something terrible, he hates me. It's over." My tone was domineering, they had to give up now or I would spill the beans about Mr Fitz and then we would all be in danger. But I needed to tell them, how would I go on with that weight on my chest?

"Do you want me to remind you that Toby was on the A-team without me knowing?"

"Yeah, Ezra couldn't have done anything worse." This made me laugh and Emily looked curiously at me. "What?"

"I wish it was as simple as that."

"Okay, I'm officially scared now."

"Hanna!" Spencer chastised her and then looked at me with a serious expression. "What is it?" That moment my phone rang again and the girls looked at me with annoyed expressions. Em gave me my phone again and my heart stopped.

**'If you dare tell your bitches anything, be prepared to say goodbye to your lovely teacher. -Kisses, A xoxoxo'**

Now, what the hell was that? I'm supposed to know that Ezra is A but why would he send me a text like that? He couldn't be talking about himself that way.

"Who was that?" Hanna asked.

"Um, just Jake." I lied to them, I had no other choice now. And at the moment, I wasn't afraid of Ezra. His previous text sounded so honest, he sounded so honestly hurt earlier at his apartment. What if he was being forced into doing things?

"You and your fans!" Spence joked trying to lighten the mood. "By the way, don't you think you should break up with him?"

"Why would I do that? Don't I need a reason?"

"Realising that you had been an idiot for months and cheating on him with your ex-boyfriend is a pretty decent reason, trust me."

"Funny, Spence." They all laughed and she was so content with herself. Were they out of their minds?

"Everything is gonna be fine. Whatever happened, it will pass." Em smiled sweetly at me and she gave me hope, I hoped that we would be alright, me and them. As for me and Ezra, I wasn't so sure.

"Come here, let's have a group hug for pookie bear!" This time, Hanna's words made me laugh and my best friends gave me a tight hug. They gave me strength, because they were the only people I could really trust in my life.

**Don't forget to review me and tell me what you liked or didn't like, I really want to do my best and improve this story.**

**Love, A**


	5. Chapter Five

**Sorry for the late update but I had a problem with my Internet connection. But I think I will post the next chapter this Saturday anyway. As always, thanks to my beta Marcia794. You're the Spencer to my Aria.**

**Chapter 5 - Mommy's Girl**

_**Aria's POV**_

"**This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love**

My phone's ringing woke me up and I threw my hand over my eyes so as to protect them from the sunlight that was coming through the window. I was laying nearly over the bed's edge because apparently Spencer needed extra space for her sleep. I managed to open my eyes, that still felt sore from all the crying, and noticed that everyone in the room was sleeping; me and Spencer on her bed, Emily and Hanna on a handmade one on the floor out of pillows and blankets. We didn't want to be separated yesterday, even though they didn't know the reason I felt so uncomfortable. Because even if I wasn't entirely convinced that Ezra was A, I was sure that he wasn't totally innocent.

I decided to ignore my phone because I felt too tired to check who the message was from and I had just closed my eyes, when my phone beeped again. Ugh. I swear to God, if that was Ezra I would scream. I dragged my body from the bed's coziness and warmth to grab my phone that was somewhere on the floor. I managed to find it among the scattered pillows after I stabbed my toe on the bed stand and almost stepped on Em's foot.

_**Two new messages.**_

The last one was from my Dad, informing me that he and Mike would spend the whole day at the lake house and asking me if I wanted to join them for lunch. Yeah, no way. I just typed him that I would stay at Spencer's and wished them a good day. The previous one was from an unknown number.

**'Aria baby, I hope you didn't forget your skype session with mommy. I'm already online. Miss you xx'**

Damn. Mommy. Skype session. I had promised her three days ago that we would talk on skype because we really missed each other and she wanted to tell me about her new experiences in Europe. But with my life being a total mess the last days, I had totally forgotten about it. I approached Spencer and nudged her arm, but she was lying there like a dead person.

"Spence." I put more force now but she didn't move. "Spence!" My voice got a little louder and she finally opened her eyes.

"Can I borrow your laptop?" I whispered. She blinked twice and even in her sleep she looked at me incredulously.

"What the hell, Aria? Do whatever you want, just let me sleep." She tugged the blankets over her head and made herself more comfortable on the huge bed. I chuckled and quietly left the room, closing the door behind me.

The house was peaceful, Spencer's parents were at their lake house (what was going on with our lake houses?) and we were still alone. I sat on the couch and switched on her laptop that was staying on he small table. I had to wait for a few moments until it came to life and then I logged into my skype account.

_**New Contact Request: Hot Mama.**_

Okay, I had to laugh at this. She wasn't exactly mad at me for being her matchmaker via Internet, but I didn't expect her to love her username either. I accepted her and she was indeed online as she had mentioned in her text. She even had a photo as her icon; one of her and Zack. I couldn't decide if this made me happy or sad, I was the one who pushed her do that trip anyway. And she seemed happy, so happy after all this time and all those problems me and Dad and Mike had caused her. She was always there for us and we had hurt her, but now she was making a new start with someone who seemed to be so in love with her. But did that mean she would forget about us? Stay in Europe and be happy with him, maybe have one baby or two.. Still, I should be happy for her, whatever her choices are from now on.

She must have noticed that I was online because I instantly got an incoming call. I quickly answered it and stood in front of the tiny camera, really excited to see her. Her beautiful face appeared on the screen and her small smile grew bigger when she saw my face, it appears.

"Aria, baby!" She was so excited and her eyes were shining, it made me forget everything dark and focus on this bright side of my life.

"Hey, Hot Mama!" I started giggling and she blushed. "I can't believe we're actually doing this."

"But why, I needed to see my babygirl. Zack helped me install this thing on the laptop and here I am!"

"Did he also approve of your username?" I stiffled a giggle once more.

"Oh, stop it! Are you still at Spencer's?" She was acting so awkward and adorable, and all off a sudden I longed for her. They had left only a few days ago but I missed my mom. I know that our relationship hadn't been the best this past year, but we managed to overcome our conflicts. We both wanted each other to be happy with everything that would bring.

"Yeah, we had a sleepover with the girls." Memories, memories I wanted to avoid tried to haunt me but I needed this time with her to be calm, so I kept my mind away. "Dad and Mike told me to join them at the cabin, they seem to be having a good time." That crazy-about-my-family smile appeared on her lips again, although she was still hurt over our family being broken up like this. It was obvious and it was normal, we all missed it. But we had to embrace this new situation we found ourselves in and go on.

"I know, Mike texted me yesterday. I'm happy they are enjoying this."

"Tell me about you, Mom! How's Austria?"

"Oh, everything is great here, Aria! We found this small cute apartment in a calm neighborhood, everyone is so friendly." She seemed radiant and I had that bittersweet feeling again. But no, I couldn't act selfishly now, she deserved this, she deserved happiness.

"I'm so happy for you, Mom," and I really meant it. She gave me a big smile and all of a sudden Zack appeared in the screen.

"Hey, Aria!"

"Zack! Thanks for connecting Ella with technology!" They both laughed at this and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hair.

"No problem. Is everything okay at home?"

"Yeah, pretty good. Although I'm a little jealous of you guys." I frowned in mock sadness and they laughed again. I decided at that moment that I ship them.

"You can always visit us," Zack winked at me. "I'm gonna leave you now have your girl talk. Bye, beautiful." He gave me a smile and before he disappeared I waved at him. My mom followed him with her eyes before I heard a door closing. Then she turned her attention back at her laptop screen.

"So, tell me now," she began, folding her hands under her chin in a suspicious gesture, like she was ready to share a secret. "What did you do yesterday night?" Oh, great. There goes my good mood. I averted my eyes from the camera and tried to suppress a sob.

"Aria? What's wrong?" I looked up at my mom's worried eyes and I felt like a little girl again, I needed to be buried into her arms and cry my problems out.

"Ezra.." I said through sniffs and she gave a small nod as if she knew this would be about him. "It's complicated, Mom." She was looking at me sympathetically, she had fully accepted this relationship and she supported me. Even though she wasn't happy that her little girl was sleeping at her former colleague's apartment.

"You don't have to tell me what happened, sweetheart. But you and Ezra have been through so much stuff together, I'm sure whatever it is you will be able to overcome it." I was supposed to have broken up with him but she didn't even question me. She found it normal that I was till occupying myself with him.

"I don't know," I shook my head. "He's lied to me, Mom."

"Everyone has their reasons for whatever they do. You can't judge him without knowing his reasons. Did you talk with him?"

"Not really," I mumbled. Had I been wrong last night after all, when I didn't give him a chance to explain himself?

"In that case, you had better end this call with me now and go find him. I wouldn't support this, Aria, if I didn't know how much he loves you. Not everyone would do the things he did for you." Her eyes glinted and my heart clenched; my Mom believed in our love and this gave me strength to fight for this love even now, in the midst of this mess. I gave her a small smile. "I have to go anyway, Zack and I will have dinner soon with a couple that lives next door. Meeting the neighbours." She giggled.

"Okay, have fun. Mom," I hesitated, "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. We will talk soon, okay?" I nodded. "Oh, and Aria? Fight for what matters for you, when it still matters." I caught the double meaning in that; I should fight for Ezra because he still matters, he will always matter. But her? She thought that Dad didn't matter anymore, that's why she was in Europe now. I don't know if she or he fought enough for their marriage, nor can I judge them. I just wish my family was still united.

"Bye, Mom." I waved at her, with less enthusiasm now because since Zack left the room our conversation had turned less happy and exciting. But it felt really good to see her, even for just a few minutes and even through a screen. She blew me a kiss before I ended the call and I was now alone in the silent living room. Only for a few moments, until I heard steps on the stairs and looking up I saw Hanna approaching me in her pink dotted pajamas, beautiful even though she had just woken up.

"Morning." She said and crashed on the couch next to me.

"Did you sleep well?" I rested my head on the back of the couch and let out a deep breath. The day had just begun but I already felt exhausted.

"If sleeping well means constanlty being kicked by Em and hearing Sparia snoring, then yes."

"Hey, I don't snore!" I turned my face to look at her and after a moment of silence we both burst into giggles.

"You know, I was thinking, we should do something today. Just us. Spend some time away from A or even our boyfriends," she paused but then thought better of what she had said, "and girlfriends." She looked at me and grinned.

"Yeah, I think we need this." I smiled back but kept my next thought to myself. _I don't know if in my case I should consider A and my boyfriend two different people._ "Han?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that Ezra would do anything to hurt me?" I needed comfort at this moment and even if Hanna seemed to not really care about A, in the way that she usually let us -Spencer basically- handle things and look into things, I had the feeling that she was the one who would solve this mystery.

"Is there a reason you're asking me this?"

"No, not really." I shook my head and turned my gaze anywhere but at her face.

"No, he wouldn't. At least _not by his own will._" She emphasized her last words and when I finally looked at her she had a meaningful look in her eyes. See? Hanna was smart, and my question had given away more than I intended to. She opened her arms and I hugged her, leaning into my best friend's embrace once again. Then she kissed my hair and said, "Just make sure you make the right choice for you."

And I really wish I knew what the right choice was. Not just for me, but for him, for us. Because no matter how hard I tried to hate him, or be angry at him, I couldn't. I would always love him, no matter what he did.

**Thanks to obsessedwithezria, nininha200, Jdurst99, mitsaki, merliahsummers, ezrialove, Lala-Pll-Time, hadassa, ezriaS2 and the guests. I wish most of my viewers left me a review; I adore those things. Also, thanks to you guys who have added my story to your favourites or follow it. It means a lot.**

**To melina: the girls don't know yet that Ezra is in the A-team! It was something Aria discovered, so now they're just supporting her after her 'fight' with him. Thanks for your kind words, though :)**

**Sorry for the Ezria absence, but Aria needs sometime for herself to think this through. Next chapter will be some girls' fun and then I have a surprise for you. I could use some suggestions, too. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I've also posted a one-shot, We'll Be Together Soon. Take a look!**

**Love, A**


	6. Chapter Six

**Thanks to obsessedwithezria, Lala-Pll-Time, ezriaS2 and Jdurst99 for the reviews. Ali's appearance happens in this chapter so a few things are different from the show. And of course, thanks to Marcia794 for the beta job. If you love Twilight, check out her new story ;)**

**I promised a chapter today so, here it is. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 6 - Faith**

_**Aria's POV**_

**"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view; until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird**

After the girls woke up, they joined us on the cozy couches in the Hasting's living room and I told them about my skype session with Mom. Hanna never mentioned my previous almost break down and I was thankful for that. I knew that I would have to talk to them about Ezra sooner rather than later, just not yet.

My mother's words kept bugging me though and I questioned myself once again on whether I had made the right choice. What if things weren't as they seemed and it was a huge mistake that I didn't let him explain himself? I loved Ezra more than my own life and I had always been sure that he felt the same way about me. Did this mean that I had to give him a chance?

"How are we going to spend our day?" Hanna yawned and stretched her body.

"After you wake up?"

"Shut up, Em." Emily laughed.

"Spence, I miss your lake house!" Hanna's eyes lit up but then reality dawned on her and she frowned. "I wish your parents weren't there today."

"Be honest," Spencer warned, "you miss my Nana's couch." Hanna waved her off, probably because she didn't want to start that epic fight again, and turned her attention towards me.

"Aria, seriously. You only have a sacred ground on his bed? Never yours?" A hint of a smile was playing on her lips and the girls tried to stiffle a giggle.

"How could we even do it in my room?" I arched an eyebrow, obviously annoyed. She knew better than bring up mine and Ezra's sex life today of all days.

"Take him to your lake house after the boys leave. Have some alone time." Her tone was pleading as she tried to show me that I have to fight and not let him go. I shook my head and tried to prevent the tears that had gathered in my eyes from falling.

"Have I missed something?" Spencer asked, looking from me to Hanna and back again.

"Yeah, is this break up so serious?" Emily asked. I remained silent and bit the inside of my cheek, just looking into Hanna's eyes and wishing that my friends would give up.

"Aria, forever. You and Ezra can never be apart." She shook her head to emphasize the word 'never.'

Forever. Why was it so hard to believe?

"So? What are we doing today?" Emily noticed my uneasiness and tried to change the subject. Spencer sighed.

"How about studying for our Math test tomorrow?" Typical Spencer, always ruining the fun.

"Yeah, and then we can watch a movie or something," said Emily. Hanna looked at me and we both pouted.

"Oh, come on! You know you need my help anyway." Spencer stood up and headed for her bedroom, probably to grab her books and notebooks and all that boring stuff.

After studying for three hours that seemed more like three years, we finally decided to just relax and spend some quality time together while watching a movie. Spencer ordered Chinese food as it was already noon and Hanna put a movie in the DVD player.

"Seriously?" Spencer cried when she noticed the movie Hanna had put on. "We've watched this movie like ten times already."

"Shut up and sit down." Hanna hugged a pillow and focused her attention on the screen. "It's a message for Aria. Forever." She said and winked at me. I sighed.

"And what happens? We cry our eyes out and then we are depressed for the rest of the day." Spencer tried to reason with her as _Breaking Dawn: Part Two _started.

"I've got the tissues ready." Hanna replied and Spencer rolled her eyes sitting next to her. She wouldn't spend another minute trying to persuade Hanna on this, it was a lost battle.

At some point during the movie, my mobile rang with a new text message. I ignored Hanna's glare and opened it. It was from him, again.

**'Aria, you need to understand me. Let me talk to you. Please..**

**Forgive me.'**

I threw my mobile on the small table totally irritated, tears in my eyes once again. It hurt so much..

Understand him? How could I possibly understand him? I didn't even want to imagine all the things he had done… He claims that he's been keeping me safe. But what about my friends and all the people I love? What could possibly make him work with someone who wanted to hurt us?

Forgive him.. God, how I wished that he was standing next to me, though. His face just a few inches away from mine, his lips whispering those words, begging me for forgiveness. Maybe I hate him right now, or I love him more than ever, I have no idea. But I would do it, I would forgive him in the blink of an eye, just so I could feel his lips on mine. All those thoughts stayed with me for the following hours and I barely paid attention to the movie.

We ate our Chinese dishes and the light had started to fade as the night was taking over the day. The movie ended and had even Spencer tearing up. We were like normal teenagers, just enjoying some time with each other; I had really missed that.

"Are you happy now?" Spencer asked Hanna, referring to the tears in our eyes and the fact that she was right once again.

"No", Hanna replied. Emily ignored them and reached for the small box resting on the table.

"Can we open our fortune cookies now?"

"I'm sure mine says something like _'quit your life already'_", I said and Hanna gave me a questioning look.

"Hand over mine!" Spencer opened hers and read it out loud.

_"Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. Lucky number: 1."_

"Of course," Hanna whined, "you're number one in everything you do." We laughed and Spence just rolled her eyes. I grabbed my cookie and was ready to open it when Emily sprinted off the couch in the speed of light.

"Guys! There's someone out the window!" I looked up but it was already dark outside and all the lights in the garden were off, so I saw nothing. Hanna and Spencer turned around and we gave each other curious looks. Emily's gaze was still glued to something outside the house. She finally looked at us. "I swear, I saw a shadow standing there. It looked... familiar." With that, she moved to the door and we all followed her.

The winter night was chilling and it made me shiver as soon as we got out, my body craving the house's warmth. We quickly walked to the back yard, not a single sign of someone else watching us. Just about when I was ready to turn around and drag them all with me inside the house, we heard the crackling sound of leaves and saw a shadow moving near the other side of the barn. We instantly ran over the corner and that's when we saw her; long blonde hair, tall and slim figure, wearing a redcoat. Was Cece alive? This thought remained in my mind for almost a second, until she turned around.

"Did you miss me?" We all gasped as we heard the familiar voice and saw the loving blue eyes. Her beautiful face glinted in the moonlight, her eyes shining with unshed tears. I couldn't believe in my own eyes; Ali was there, in front of us. Our dear friend was finally talking to us; she was here, and she was alive.

"Ali?" Emily was the first to speak and took two cautious steps closer to her. We remained still, our eyes fixed on her, unable to move or talk.

"I have to go, really soon. I just wanted you to see me and I had to know that you are alright." No, she couldn't leave again. We just got her back, how could she leave us like that?

"Why are you running away from us?" I asked with a trembling voice. I wanted my friend back and I wanted her safe.

"Yes, Ali, you know you can trust us." Hanna's tone was pleading. Alison had been a huge part of our lives when she was alive, even more after she disappeared. But for Hanna, Ali was like a second self for many years, and although I can't say that was a good thing, Hanna based a big part of her life on Ali's life.

"I know that," she gave us a small smile, "but I'm scared. And I can't come out yet, you can't tell anyone that you saw me." She was frightened, her eyes were uncertain and it hurt me to see her like that. She didn't deserve this mess, nobody deserved it.

"Please, Ali. Stay, talk to us; we can protect each other." Spencer tried to reason with her. Alison gave her a sad look.

"Not yet, I'm sorry. But girls," she paused and emphasized her last words, "take care." Her voice was calm, soothing. She was afraid but she was trying to comfort us. Then she focused on me. "Especially you, Aria. Please be safe." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Why me?" Although I knew the answer too well. The girls looked at me with cautious expressions, except for Hanna; she was looking down, avoiding my eyes.

"I have to go. I will be back soon," she promised. With a last glance at my direction she turned around and paced quickly towards the back of the barn. And we stayed there, just looking at the empty space she left behind her.

So it had to be true after all and I wasn't just imagining things, making a simple situation a million times worse in my mind. Alison was afraid of him, of my soulmate. She was afraid of the man who promised he would always keep me safe. How was I able to believe that anymore? How could I believe him when he was talked about my safety the moment that my lost friend was hiding from him, giving up her life so she could avoid him? My eyes welled up with tears and I realized something that seemed impossible; my heart was breaking in pieces, once again. It felt like I was losing him again. But I didn't want to believe that, deep inside me, I wished that there would still be a chance. I had to be strong and have faith, maybe Ali was wrong. Could she be?

"Aria?" Spencer's hand touched my shoulder and she nodded towards the house. "Let's go inside." The girls were silent as we walked inside the house, shocked because we just had a talk with our best friend who we thought was dead until yesterday, troubled because of her last words to me. Sitting on the couch again, I noticed my fortune cookie resting untouched on the table. I chuckled darkly to myself and took it in my hands.

_"A living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."_

So no, I wouldn't lose my faith in him. Not yet.

**I know, I know. Another chapter without Ezria. I'm so sorry, but I want the girls to have their moments too. Aria seems a little indecisive but it's normal, she has no idea how to feel about all this mess. But she will make up her mind soon ;)**

**Next chapter won't have Ezria either but the first big secret about Ezra will be revealed (I hope you won't hate me after that). **

**PLEASE REVIEW! And thanks for reading.**

**Love, A**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Early update because I love you. The idea about this chapter was the reason I started writing this fanfic, a few days after the summer finale. So any resemblance to future episodes is totally coincidental, and according to a few spoilers I read after the Halloween special there will be some coincidence.. I had a little difficulty writing this chapter but I did my best and I hope you like it because it's one of my favourites. As always, thanks to Marcia794 for correcting my mistakes.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7 - The First Mistake**

_**Ezra's POV**_

**"A mistake is simply another way of doing things." - Katharine Graham**

_**September 1st, 2009**_

It was the fifth time since I'd come into the library that I had to leave my book down and close my eyes to make the headache go away. I massaged my temples, willing my head to stop throbbing and let me finish my work. No such luck. I checked my watch only to see that it was almost 8pm. Wow. I had been here for more than five hours.

Looking around, I noticed that I was alone in the library; even the librarian had called it a night. I sighed and got up, gathering my books and folding my papers in my suitcase. I had only until next morning to finish my assignment for Mr. Montgomery's class on 'Winesburg, Ohio'. I loved this book and Anderson was one of my favourites, so I was trying to do my best and give him something really good. And with only a few months left for my degree, I needed the good impression and the good marks.

The library was empty and so was Hollis in general, probably the only people left at this time were the maids and myself. I stayed late a lot though, I loved studying in the library because it helped me concentrate. Although I lived on my own and nobody was bothering me, my tiny apartment was getting claustrophobic after a few hours.

Walking down the quiet corridor, I noticed something weird though. There was dim light coming from around the last corner, where I knew Mr. Montgomery's office was located. The moment I turned around the corner, I saw a blonde girl entering the room. Meredith Sorenson. Why would she be here at this time of the day? She wasn't the type of student who would stay awake at night so as to have a great assignment, like I would do. And neither was she the type of girl who would be so interested in her studies, that she would prefer to spend her evening consulting her teacher on an assigment instead of drinking at some bar. _You're not better on this_. An inner voice screamed but I tried to ignore it.

I kept my distance as I headed for the exit, but Mr. Montgomery opened his door and noticed me watching Meredith, as she quietly sneaked into his office. I quickly averted my gaze and kept walking towards the door, but I felt his eyes on me. He didn't say a word, probably because he didn't want to upset her, and then I heard his door closing. His behaviour made me suspicious; he had looked me in a guilty way, fear clouding his eyes. But this couldn't make me accuse him of having something more than a professor-student relationship with her. Or could it?

He wasn't that man, he couldn't take advantage of one of his students like that. And Meredith? Could she have an affair with her professor just to have a good degree? With her married professor? I shook my head in disgust; no, this couldn't be happening and I shouldn't jump to conclusions that easily. There was something else going on there for sure.

I quickly left the building and headed for the almost-empty parking lot. I couldn't wait for the moment I would be in my bed, I felt too exhausted. I had basically finished my assignment, there was only the bibliography I had to write down until I gave it to Mr. Montgomery. How would I face him the next morning? I was too embarassed for what I saw but more importantly for all the thoughts I had about him. While I was walking to my car, I heard a voice that annoyed the crap out of me.

"Ezra! Wait a minute, babe!" Oh my God, I wanted to punch her so badly. I didn't even look at her direction and simply kept walking, totally ignoring her. "Ezra!" She ran and reached for my arm, something that could make me lose my temper and make things worse for her.

"What the hell do you want, Alison?" I turned around and glared at her. She was the most annoying girl I had ever met in my whole life, I swear. Even her voice could give me a headache.

She batted her eyelashes and came closer, making me take a step back. "You know what I want", she said in what some other men would perceive as a seductive voice. But not me, I just hated the girl. I could admit that she was cute; tall, slim, blue eyes and blonde hair that seemed blonder tonight because of the yellow top she was wearing. She was a pretty girl. But she was that, just a girl.

"Fuck off." I usually didn't speak that way to people, especially to women, but I couldn't help myself. Alison had been doing this for weeks; following me, appearing out of thin air and begging me to take her then and there. I don't know how a girl at her age could be so bold around men, I don't know if she used to like older boys or even had affairs with them. But that was what had been happening to me since that damn night I met her at the Hollis bar.

* * *

_**I was totally screwed after an epic fight with my mother that would leave me broke for a month; that was her punishment for 'not respecting her'. My relationship with Danielle had never been the best between mother and son. After I graduated, the only thing I wanted was to leave them and study somewhere else, I didn't want any connection to that family. The only thing they cared about was their money and their image to others, things I didn't give a damn about. My mother wanted her sons to study medicine; I wanted to become a teacher and maybe publish one or two of my stories. My mother wanted us to marry someone wealthy with a certain social status; I wanted to marry the girl I would fall in love with.**_

_**So I left them and came to Rosewood so I could study at Hollis University the thing that was my passion, English litterature. I even changed my name so as to be as far away from them as possible. Fitzgerald became Fitz, something that would be useful in the future too, in case I became a famous writer; there couldn't be two of us.**_

_**I don't even remember why we had fought that night, probably because of money, it was the only thing she cared about. She went on ranting again about how I don't respect my family and that I should get a job and feed myself. No matter how hard I tried to explain to her that this can't happen until I get my degree, she didn't understand. Her attitude put me on edge and I ended up in the bar, drinking a quite lot, something that was unusual for me.**_

_**After my fifth or sixth drink, a beautiful girl approached me and asked me to dance. I was surprised that someone like her would want to spend some time with me, I found her pretty attractive at the moment. I was so drunk that without realising what I was doing, I grabbed her by the waist and danced with her. The bar was really crowded at that time, something that made us stick to each other and basically make circles around ourselves.**_

_**I remember her giggling and telling me that she found me really handsome and I was amused by her, the way she talked, the way she danced. The thing I didn't really notice was her young age; the red lipstick she was wearing, the high heels, the too short dress.. We may have kissed; I wasn't really able to remember in my condition.**_

_**Days passed and I forgot all about her. Well, I didn't remember a lot of things to begin with, just a few details about her appearance like her blonde hair. A blonde girl who I danced with a night I got drunk. However, I noticed her extremely young age when I saw her one day walking past me and towards Byron's office. I knew it was her. I tried to keep my distance although I was curious; what could she be doing here? She couldn't be Byron's daughter, he always moaned in class about the pink highlights she had on her hair. **_

_**I turned around and headed to my next class, wishing that she hadn't seen me. I didn't even remember her name to be honest. I kept walking when I heard her calling me.**_

_**"Ezra!" Seriously? I stopped walking and turned around, keeping an indifferent face.**_

_**"I'm sorry, do I know you?"**_

_**"What? You forgot the great night we had?" Okay, I had been drunk but not that much. I may not remember any kiss, but if we had done anything more I would remember it. She came closer to me and whispered, as if telling a secret. "We danced for hours and then you kissed me." I sighed in relief. But still, I had no time for a child. She winked at me; I already hated her.**_

_**"I don't know what you're talking about." I turned around and headed for the opposite direction. She was behind me in an instant.**_

_**"Oh, come on. No boy forgets about me that easily." There was something about her that I was sure made boys crazy. She was so sure about herself and that made her attractive in spite of her age. "We can have a good time whenever you want." She tried to take my hand in hers but I pushed her off.**_

_**"I really don't want to." My tone was hard and I hope it would make her stop following me.**_

_**"Well, in case you change your mind, you can ask Byron for my number. Young girls are his type." She said laughing and with that she turned around and headed for the exit. I shook my head; how could she insult Mr. Montgomery like that? Stupid, immature girl.**_

* * *

It never hit me until that moment. _'Young girls are his type.' _Could he really be like that? He had a great family, how could he give that up? I had thought that Alison was just messing with me that day but she could be telling the truth after all. But anyway, this didn't concern me. Mr. Montgomery was my professor and his private life was not my business.

"I have to go now." I couldn't stay near her another minute. "See you around." I winked at her and she just stood there dumbfounded, totally oblivious to my thoughts. She said nothing and let me go; thank God for that.

Besides my weariness, the past events filled my mind with different thoughts and instead of my apartment I headed for my favourite bar. I just had a quiet drink; after that disastrous night a few months ago I avoided drinking much. After half an hour or so, I craved my bed so I finished my drink and walked out of the bar. It was a quiet night and the weather was still hot. I got in my car and started driving in the empty streets of Rosewood.

I was thinking about my assignment now and all the work that was waiting for me the following days for other projects when my car made a terrible roaring noise and stopped in the middle of the street. Damn. I checked my gas tank but it was filled more than half-full. I immediately got out, cursing myself and basically the car, when I noticed Byron's car outside a house that sure as hell wasn't his own. Curiosity got the best of me and I hesitantly headed towards the uknown house.

All of a sudden, Byron sprinted off the backyard and I had to hide behind the closest bush so I wouldn't be noticed. He was obviously irritated about somehing and I wondered if it was Meredith the one living there and they had just had a fight. Luckily, my car was parked a few meters behind his just around a small turn of the road, so he wouldn't easily notice it as he got inside his car and left.

I decided to go back to my car and try to find the cause of the damage, otherwise I would walk to my apartment and take it to the garage the following day. I wasn't too far away from my place anyway, any distance in this town was small, plus I would enjoy some fresh air and some walking. But just when I was ready to turn around, I noticed a blonde girl coming into view from the same direction Byron left moments earlier. It was Alison. Her expression was somehow identical to the older man's but she tried to hide it when she -unluckily for me- noticed my presence.

"Well, well." She said approaching me, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "Someone decided that he wants something from me, after all." She was trying to hide the fact that she was really, really upset.

"Uh.. It's not like that, really." She was smirking now and getting closer. I couldn't deal with her again, seriously. "I was just driving and -"

"You happened to park your car outside my house and stalk me from behind a bush, I see." I had to get away from here or I would hurt her.

"I'm not like Byron, don't get your hopes up," I spitted. This seemed to make her upset.

"The jerk will pay for what he's doing. I won't let him destroy Aria's life." She had a fierce look on her face and I guessed that Aria could be Byron's daughter? I didn't know they were friends, I knew barely anything about Alison's life. "But you," she composed herself after that tiny moment of weakness, "will pay as he will." I looked at her with a questioning look and she continued, "You know, a lot of my friends saw us in that bar. Saw you kissing a minor." She winked at me. The little bitch.

"What do you want, Alison?" I asked irritated. How much longer would I be paying for one fucking mistake?

"If I can't have you, at least I can have your money." She said and with that, she turned around and headed for her house before adding, "see you around!". A giggle escaped her lips and she disappeared behind the trees.

No, this couldn't be happening now. Irritating the living hell out of me was one thing; blackmailing me for money was too much. Ugh. What was wrong with me and women? After that crazy Maggie I used to date in high-school, Jackie came. And she had broken up with me after I proposed to her. I mean, who does that? Now I had a fifteen-or-so-year-old girl stalking me and asking for money because I didn't want her.

I turned back to my car and tried to start it again; thankfully it worked this time and I drove down the road. I would have to take it to the garage anyway, or just ask Danielle for money to get a new one, as this had been my father's old car. I liked a Toyota silver one, and if I apologiZed for my previous behaviour, she would say yes in an instant.

During the whole drive to my apartment I was thinking about Alison. She could blackmail me all she wanted though; I had kissed a minor, she could use this against me. And this wasn't me, I don't even know how I had ended up drinking so much that night. But it happened and now I couldn't change it. And if Byron left in that condition a few minutes ago, it means that she was really asking for money, she would have no difficulty to do the same with me.

For once, I wished that I hadn't cut my family's money off. Seems like I would need it soon, because Alison was that type of girl.

**Even though Ezra has no idea who she is, Aria got mentioned twice and it was really cute. But next chapter will actually have some Ezria (in case you forgot that this is an Ezria fanfic lol). **

**Thanks for reading guys! And please review!**

** See ya xx**


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